Why I Hate Moving

1) You always have waaaaaay more crap than you think you do, even after a garage sale, Craigslist, and the Salvation Army have been to your house.

2) It always takes three times as long as you think it will to move said crap. And that's just the moving part.

3) Within all the crap, even if you have the most anal retentive inventory and labeling systems in the world, you won't be able to find sippy cups, eating utensils, or the coffee pot when you need them. No matter what. Even if you hand carry them to the new house yourself.

4) Small children and puppies think that moving boxes, bubble wrap, and newspaper wads are their personal domain, to be used for play and potty. One or the other is probably fine, but not both. 


5) Big sweaty moving guys are only hot in the movies. In real life, there's lotsa back hair, plumber crack, and body odor. Blech.

6) Husbands apparently lose all sense of direction and organization while moving, causing them to ask you "Babe, where does this go?" like, a million times. Really? Really? I think I should just tell him to put his grandmother's china in the guest bathroom closet. Only to see if he would really do it.

7) Mothers-in-law don't show up until the week after you've moved. Just in time for you to flip out about not having any semblance of a guest room, but not in time to help scrub the old dog peepee out of the carpet in the old house.

8) It's amazing how well a screwdriver works to open wine. Seriously, who needs a corkscrew?